Gerry

Summer 2024 Student
(Three months)

Gerry Tassajara Summer Student

 

What brought you to Tassajara?

“I grew up as a Catholic in Ireland, and knew I was very different from a young age. I would go to church and cry, pleading with God to make me not bad, to make me not different, to make me not gay. After years of struggling with addiction, I found myself in and out of AA meetings where I met some Zen practitioners. I learned that AA stems from Buddhism and felt a great sense of ease and peace from these teachings. I joined a Meditation in Recovery group, practicing at City Center for 22 years, and have been sober for 40 years. I came to Tassajara to practice with my sangha in the summer and was so deeply touched by the community that I came back as a student.”

What have you learned?

“Tassajara was the gift I didn’t know I needed. I came here to wash dishes and didn’t expect to find healing. This is a safe space where people can take off their masks, be open and vulnerable and meet each other. I am accepted for just being myself, and after a lifetime of hating myself, I found great healing in that.”

What practice supports you here?

“Aside from the people, the routine of our way of life here is very helpful. I know that I need to go to zazen at 6 am, work circle at 8:30 am, lunch at noon, etc. There is no question of ‘should I go? Will I go?’ There is no should or would…I just do it, [because] this is what we do. There can be a sense of freedom in that.”

What do you want people to know?

“I’m over 70, I have a cane, and I am here [at Tassajara]. I used to restrict myself and tell myself that I couldn’t do things because of my limitations. As people get old, they become invisible. But I have learned that I can do the work as well as anybody else! I now know I am capable. If you are 70, know that you matter and you are capable.”


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